Nachos, Drones, and a Ceasefire: What the Portland Mercury Got Dead Wrong
If you’ve read the Portland Mercury‘s June 23 “Good Morning, News” column, you probably noticed the tone before you even hit the headlines. A war is brewing in the Middle East, the Oregon legislature is debating civil liberties, and America is—allegedly—on fire again. But the Mercury wants you to care about nachos.
And not just a nod to local flavor. I mean paragraphs of profanity-laced nacho worship while missiles fly and legislatures rewrite surveillance law.
That’s not quirky. That’s insulting.
Let’s break this down.
You can read the original piece by Wm. Steven Humphrey here: Good Morning, News: Oregon Lawmakers Enable the Cops and Trump Drags Us Into a War—But at Least We Have Nachos
1. The Tone: Profanity and Mockery Instead of Journalism
There’s a difference between edgy and unhinged. The Mercury’s article opens with the phrase “Oregon Lawmakers Enable the Cops and Trump Drags Us Into a War—But at Least We Have Nachos.” That’s the tone of a Twitter thread, not a news column.
War, drone surveillance, civil liberties—these are real issues with real stakes. This isn’t a comedy sketch. Yet the Mercury buries the lede under childish humor and one-sided snark. If Howard Cosell had reported like this, he’d have been off the air in a week. If CNN had joked their way through the Gulf War, the public would have tuned out in disgust.
We tune in to news to be informed, not manipulated, mocked, or emotionally baited.
2. Oregon’s Drone Bill: A Complex Issue, Not a Punchline
The Mercury attacks Oregon lawmakers for expanding law enforcement’s ability to use drones without warrants—but doesn’t do the work to explain the bill. Senate Bill 238A is not blanket approval for surveillance. It includes restrictions and rationale—particularly around officer safety, rapid response to emergencies, and crime scene documentation.
Do civil liberties groups have legitimate concerns? Absolutely. But the article doesn’t lay them out fairly. Instead, it caricatures the issue: cops are “spoiled,” drones are Big Brother, and lawmakers are fools.
In truth, this bill deserves serious discussion—not to be squeezed between nacho jokes and TikTok embeds.
Oregon needs better. Residents are pilfered with opinions, and as a result the real facts are ignored. Abandon your “Trump derangement syndrome” and look at the facts.
3. Trump and Iran: War or Ceasefire?
Here’s where the Mercury’s credibility really breaks.
Their piece paints Donald Trump as a reckless liar dragging America into war. The word choice? “King Fool,” “Tiny Hands,” “pant-load.” It reads like a tantrum, not reporting.
Yet on the very same day that piece was published, news broke that Trump had brokered a ceasefire between Iran and Israel. According to The Epoch Times, the 12-Day War could be over within 24 hours. According to The Epoch Times and other sources, the 12-Day War could be over within 24 hours. Trump followed War Powers Act procedure. Iran gave advance warning of its retaliatory strike. No American lives were lost.
Do you have to like Trump to report that? No. You just have to be a journalist.
4. When Opinion Masquerades as Reporting
The Mercury doesn’t label this piece as an editorial. But it’s not neutral reporting either. It’s filled with personal venom, presented as daily news. That’s not journalism. That’s propaganda.
And it’s worth pointing out: this wasn’t some random intern or guest writer. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury—and has held that job since 2000. This is the leadership voice of the paper. And if this piece is representative of that leadership, it raises real questions about the editorial standards under his watch.
5. A Call for Better
This isn’t about defending Trump. It’s not about defending the drone bill. It’s about defending public discourse. If the press won’t respect the intelligence of its readers, who will? If the truth is inconvenient to your narrative, maybe your narrative needs to change.
Journalism at its best investigates, explains, and contextualizes. It doesn’t insult your intelligence while hiding its own bias behind jokes.
Oregon deserves better.
Let’s hope we get it.